Now... you are being hugged by a giant hamster. You feel completely happy and protected. Nothing can get at you from within the hamster's embrace.
I want you to just breathe. And really feel the hug. Don't just be giving the hamster one of those stiff man-hugs. I want you to really get in there and nuzzle into its hamster bosom... That's it.......
Now, for one brief moment, I want you to contemplate the infinite.. Okay, that's enough. Now, contemplate the heavens. And now, the lush rain forests of the Eastern Black Sea region. Now, contemplate chocolate marble cheesecake. Now... a puppy. And now, two cupids in a paddle-boat, sailing along the calm, blue ocean. Okay, I think that's enough.
Do you sometimes feel irritable, restless, uneasy, sad, normal or just plain not-high? Maybe it's time to try crack.
Crack may cause shivers, night terrors, gay-for-pay, heart palpitations, homicidal paranoia or the sensation that you're on fire. Peeing blood and seeing friends' faces as talking skeletons are possible side effects of crack.
People who use crack may also experience 5-7 years in prison where brutal raping may occur. If you experience one or more of these side effects, consult your dealer. You may need more crack.
Crack. Isn't it time you see what all the fuss is about?